Pyaar Ishq Aur Mohabbat: The Uppers & Downers

Subhash K Jha

Everyone's seen what Rajiv Rai has done in Scotland in PIAM.

Rumour has it that Dalip Tahil turned the scenic little country into scotch-land.

The Scottish castles are still booming to the sound of pop-Bhangra, and reeling under the aroma of heavily spiced chola-bhaturas and idli-sambhars.

And is it true that the bagpipers have started to sound like shehnais ever since Viju Shah’s songs boomed across the meadows and fields of Scotland?

That brings me to the USP No1 of Pyaar Ishq Aur Mohabbat.

Viju Shah’s Music: What’s keeping composer Viju Shah from getting to the top where he belongs? His combination with Rajiv Rai never fails.

Tirchi topi wale in Tridev , Tu cheez badi hai mast mast in Mohra, Duniya haseenon ka mela in Gupt and now the endearing songs of Pyaar Ishq Aur Mohabbat; Rajiv Rai and Viju Shah are like the Raj Kapoor and Shankar-Jaikishan of snyth-eclectic musicianship.

The songs flow into the narrative to create an energized vocubulary of pink blue and hazel expressions. The music is much more accomplished than critics in Bombay have acknowledged.

Arjun Ramphal: When was the last time we saw a debutante get such a marvellous Moksha in his maiden movie? If I was Arjun, I'd send a truckload of flowers and chocolates to Rai for signing me in a cream-going-on-dream role.

Bobby Deol who played the pivot in Rai’s earlier film Gupt must be kicking himself under the table. Bobby was offered Arjun’s role. He couldn’t do it as Rajiv wanted to shoot at a stretch in 90 days come what May (or June…).

Akshay Kumar was offered Aftab’s role. He didn’t find his role exciting enough. Can’t blame him. Aftab looks like an oversized prop trampling over the Scottish daisies with his avoir dupois. Providentially Arjun walks away with the film. He’s got weight of a different kind.

Ah, Scotland: One of the primary pleasures of watching Sunil Shetty, Aftab and Arjun play Pyaar Ishq and Mohabbat(a la Amar Akbar Anthony) is to see them romancing the Scottish outdoors and indoors.

Cinematographer P S Vinod seems to have studied the landscape closely. He photographs not relics but what they stand for. Consequently when Aftab’s wonky body language and Kirti Reddy’s messed-up scream…sorry, screen presence gets in the way, we’re able to focus on the feelings that filter out of the locations.

Whether it’s the University Of Glasgow or Sterling Castle, we’re fascinated by the outdoors.

Aapki Kya Rai Hai? Rajiv Rai’s mise en scene sparkles with the pride and joy of romantic discovery. All his earlier films have been frightfully frenetic homages to thrill-a-minute filmmaking.

This time he has taken Simon-Garfunkel’s song—"Slow down you’re going too fast you’ve got to let the morning last"—seriously.

There’s Something About Meri…Apni: So there are three guys lusting after one mademoiselle. But this isn’t There’s Something About Mary at all. Does Kirti Reddy look, like Cameron Diaz from any angle?

And the 5 Downers:

Kirti Reddy:In Yash Chopra’s Chandni we had Rishi Kapoor and Vinod Khanna lusting after Ms Unattainable Sridevi. The only thing unattainable about Ms Reddy is a fleet of requisite facial expressions.

Why in heaven or on earth would three eligible bachelors be sighing moping and moaning over this lady? Well here’s the screenplay we never saw. Yash Sabarwal (Shetty) is fully myopic but too vain to wear glasses. He thinks Kirti is Sridevi.

Gaurav(Ramphal) is a closet masochist. He wants to punish himself for all the hearts that he broke in the past by marrying the plainest girl on the planet.

And Taj(Aftab)? He’s plain dumb. Haven’t you seen his grin? Wah, Taj!

Sunil Shetty’s Accent: Every time he goes Yah-yah the audience mimics Sunil mercilessly. His tycoon-like affectations are as awful as Deepak Malhotra’s "Pallo" in Lamhe. Thank God this isn’t Sunil’s debut film.

Sex Sucks: In one sequence Isha (Kirti Reddy) barges into Gaurav bedroom only to find him and his date (Monica Bedi) naked in bed. Isha jumps to the obvious conclusion. But wait. They haven’t ‘slept’ together because at heart the 'Rake and the Hussy' in Scotland are still Indian.

Does Rajiv Rai really believe young Indian people on-the-move think sex is for after marriage? Immaculate conceptions are all very fine. But let’s not get carried away.

Priya Tendulkar: What’s wrong with our fiery Rajni? Playing Aftab Shivdasani’s mom she’s reduced to looking and behaving like a lobotomized harridan!!!

Admitted when you have Dalip Tahil for your screen husband and Aftab for you son, you’re bound to be depressed in life. But surely, Priya has more spunk in her being! Didn’t she display it as Bobby Deol’s mom in Rajiv Rai’s Gupt?

Pneumonic Plague: The biggest puzzle of this psychdelic guzzle are the costumes. Though the film boasts of seven costume designers, our heroine’s Kirti Reddy’s midriff is exposed even in the Swiss snowscape , Arjun’s tight vests and bicep-friendly jackets require as little kapda as a baby’s bottom.

More diaper than dapper, the cleavage-and-muscles combo begins to hurt the eyes . The only one dressed for the occasion is Sunil Shetty. Is he clothes conscious? Yah yah yah…