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'In Pakistan, they say that Kidar Sharma does not write with ink, he writes with his tears'

Geeta Bali: Whom Sharma rediscovered

Looking up at a painting he had done of Geeta Bali, he says, "I consider her one of our great artistes. There was nobody who performed like her. She was very versatile. When she entered the industry, everybody had written her off. I believed in her and made her a star."

He also introduced music directors like Snehal Bhatkar. His music in Tumhari yaad aayegi was very popular. "I have done good work and to keep doing that was no joke. I have paid a big price for it."

He explains: "I made such a clean film (Sehme huain sitare) and it didn't run even for a day! That's what I am talking about. I don't want to make any more films today. For what? My heart is broken. I feel sad that I gave so much to this country and they behave in this manner. In Pakistan, they say that Kidar Sharma does not write with ink, he writes with his tears. That's the biggest compliment I have received so far, and from another country too." Then he adds, reasonably, "But I have quite a few admirers in this country too. It's just that there are not too many of them." Then he gets bitter again.

"Everywhere there is so much corruption. Literacy has no place here; it's just money and more money. Does anybody really write good stuff anymore? Everybody has sold themselves. Look at our leaders! Every one of them is so corrupt. Whether it is Sukh Ram or anybody.. Nobody is nice nowadays. Why should people be poor when there is so much money around?"

Then he does a double take.

"Jigar Muradabadi was reciting some poems to few people when a small boy got up and asked whether he could say something. Jigar asked him to come upto the mike and say it. So the boy, addressing himself to god, said, "Mohabbat mita degi begani ko, sambhal baith, main tu hona chahata hoon (This love that I have for you will destroy the difference between us by making me like you)." So when Jigar heard this, he told the boy that he won't live for more than a month and that turned to be true. There was so much bitterness in that boy."

He comes to the point. "I am not bitter, but I always considered myself to be a rebel."

Sharma also thinks he is lucky to have worked with some eminent and many pleasant people. And he also shows his morbid love romanticised by Urdu poetry. He recounts, "There was a actor called Kersi Patel. His wife was dead and one day I decided to go to his house. One thing that struck me strange is that he had two beds, one of which was laid on the floor and the other was decorated very nicely.

"I asked why did he do that. He told me his wife died on the very first night of the marriage and he still hopes she will come back. Hence the bed is decorated for her. Do you think I could have met a better person than him?

K L Saigal (extreme right)

Another actor who displayed a sense of tragedy, K L Saigal, introduced him to Debaki Bose. And Sharma is very grateful to him for that. "Because of him, I am in the industry. I was not allowed to meet Debaki Bose, but Saigalsaab took me to him.

"I will tell you something. When I came to Calcutta first, I sold typewriter machines. I didn't get much money on them. So I thought I should sell some saris and blouses. I was surprised when Saigalsaab told me that he did that too, but left it. I asked him why and he told me that when he went with his saris to a particular place, a girl would come running out of her home and ask him to show her some green saris. She liked one and asked the price. Saigalsaab told her it cost Rs 10. She said she could pay that much only on the 1st of the month when her brother got his salary.

"Saigalsaab returned on the day he was asked to, but the girl did not come out. Curious, he went in himself to find out. He saw the brother crying with the girl's body in his lap." The girl had died before the doctor could treat her. Now he didn't have money for the burial as the doctor took all the money. Saigal told him he would use the green sari the girl liked for the burial. Thereafter, Saigal sold no more saris, says Sharma.

Once, when he was in debt, one of his debtors, a lady called Nazirabai, walked in.

"I had no money left and I had to pay almost Rs 25,000 to my staff and I didn't know what to do. I told her that I won't die unless I don't return her money." The lady walked out, stopping only to leave something wrapped in a handkerchief on the table. It contained 17,000 and a few pieces of jewellery.

"I ran behind her and asked her why did she do such a thing. So she told me that everybody claimed I was finished and would not be able to pay people. So she came to help me with whatever she had no use of. I was very touched and apologised to her."

"So I have met some very nice people in my life and I like to think about them sometimes," he concludes, attributing some of his good fortune to god. "I have always believed that god is only a whisper away. If you call him genuinely, he will definitely come to you and help."

Sharma was also accused of having affairs with his heroines, including Madhubala or the lesser-known Sapna Sarang. "Many people have accused me of having relationships with Madhubala, Sapna or Geeta Bali, but believe me there was really nothing of the sort," he says.

Madhubala: Protégé not paramour, says Sharma

"Madhubala was a precocious kid. I remember when I first saw her. She was sitting with her father and I came into the room. I sat beside her and was surprised when she got up and told me that I shouldn't sit beside her as she was a woman and I was a man. I was quite amused and told her that she was like a daughter and she shouldn't talk like that to me."

He liked her so much that he made Neelkamal for her in spite of Chandulal Shah's disapproval. "There was no question of him (Chandulal) disapproving of anything, because I was making this film with my money. And anyway, Chandulal had a fight with Khansaab (Madhubala's father)." Madhubala was under contract with Chandulal Shah and when she got outside banners, he wouldn't let her go. Hence the objections.

His wife has learnt, perhaps, that shoving her husband into the industry was not a good idea. So she discouraged the children from joining the industry. But all his three children adore him, a feeling reciprocated in full.

"I consider myself very lucky: professionally, I had the best of times and personally too, thanks to my children and grandchildren who are so considerate."