Cricketers on the write line

There was a time when cricketers played cricket and cricket writers wrote about it. I'm sure of it, although I don't have any proof. These days it seems like every other player has a column in some form of media. You can't pick up a newspaper or browse a cricket web site without finding personal prose from a star of the international arena.

This is not a complaint; it's simply the way it is now with an insatiable public appetite for insights from the stars themselves. At least I'm assuming it's insatiable, because there is no other legitimate reason why current cricketers are allowed to run rampant in the press.

One wonders at the logical extension of the proliferation of columns by cricketers. The future, surely, is not only comment from the stars, but the reporting of news as well. I can see a day when a non-playing member of a touring squad will make himself useful by writing special match reports from "inside the dressing room". Who needs journalists? With cramped itineraries and often minimal opportunities for the second-tier players to get time on the field, why can't they contribute to the tour in a more meaningful way?

Send the cricket writers home. We may very well have the 12th man doing match reports in the near future. Can you imagine, for example, an Australian squad member filing a match report?

"Pidge started us off with a real beauty to get rid of that crap opener who never gets any runs against us and Diz showed what a legendary performer he is on the big stage by getting rid of the new guy we haven't heard of. Warney, champion that he is (onya mate!), bowled brilliantly as usual but the luck just didn't go his way, no thanks to the highly questionable home town umpiring. Champions always bounce back and if it wasn't for a few lucky sixes by the wristy guy with the long name who uses his feet, his figures would have been much better than 0/102 from 17 overs." Err, no thanks!

First it was just the captains, but now more and more current cricketers are in the media. At last count, at least four current Test captains have written columns this year. With all the writing they're doing and the natural off-field commitments inherent in being an international cricketer, it's a wonder they find the time to play cricket! That is not to mention the massive production of books, which it is apparently compulsory to produce once you break into Test cricket.

In the current Ashes series, at least eight of the players involved have had a column either online or in print. It would be a worthwhile exercise if they were prepared to reveal genuinely interesting inside information that we cannot get from any other source, but mostly it's mundane.

There is some humour to be found, though.

In the Australian camp, you can tell how much pressure a player is under or how badly he is playing by the effusiveness of his team-mates' praise of him. Adam Gilchrist had an awful start to the Ashes series as a wicketkeeper, dropping two catches and conceding 10 byes. Jason Gillespie was savage in his criticism: "I continually take my hat off to Gilly with the likes of Shane, Brett and me being so unpredictable at times." Yes, Dizzy, I'm sure Gilly could not have predicted any one of you would find the edge on the opening morning of the Ashes. Luckily the three of you made it up to him by sticking around long enough to see him through to his century...

Steve Waugh is usually a good read, but he has eight years of diary writing experience behind him. The likes of Gillespie obviously want to ensure they do nothing to harm their selection chances, so cannot say anything even remotely resembling a negative or honest comment, which reduces the credibility quite a bit.

The latest form of cricketers' diaries is a brief day-by-day account of their experiences. Like England captain Nasser Hussain's in the lead-up to the first Test, which read more like a medical report than a diary but contained some honest remarks nevertheless, such as: "Another injury. The replacement for Thorpe's replacement walked into a door and got concussion. We're stuffed."

Then this revelation two days before the Test:

"We're considering fielding 10 players because the only remaining batting option is Graeme Hick. Asked players to work on developing a strategy to distract the umpires while we bring Goughie on from both ends."

And later:

"Tried to show a detached air of confidence by declaring I was not concerned about the result. Got beaten by an innings. Became concerned about the result."

All right, Hussain did not write any of that, but he may well have felt like it. On a semi-serious note, the England skipper's jottings did contain some interesting snippets that would not otherwise have been known, like the fact the two teams dined at the same restaurant on the Monday night prior to the first Test.

Said Hussain: "In the evening went out with most of the boys who were fit - six of us - to Shimla Pinks expecting a quiet meal, only to find all the Aussies and their wives there. The two sides spent the evening eyeing each other across an Indian restaurant." The battle for the Ashes evidently began several days before. That is what we want to know.

Compare it to the trite reflections from Gillespie: "There is something really special about an Ashes series in England". Who would have guessed?

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