The Perfect Test

When a team sits down at its pre-match meeting to plan its perfect Test victory, its list of objectives might go something like this:

1. Win the toss on a good pitch and bat first.
2. Make 300-plus on the first day, then declare at 650 after five sessions.
3. Bowl the opposition out for 150 in two sessions and make them follow on 500 runs behind.
4. Bowl them out again for 130 in a session and a half on the same day and win by an innings and 400 runs half an hour after tea on day three.

To actually realise those objectives, away from home against the second-best team in the world, would require something akin to cricketing perfection. It would take a performance so comprehensively dominating in all respects as to defy belief, some sort of miraculous alignment of the stars that sees you play at your zenith while your opponents perform at their nadir.

Now let’s examine what Australia did against South Africa in the first Test at the Wanderers: Win the toss and bat first? Check.
Bat for five sessions and declare at 650, throwing in the fastest double century in Test history by your wicketkeeper while you’re at it? Check.
Bowl the opposition out for around 150 within two sessions, enforcing the follow-on approximately 500 ahead before lunch on day three? Check.
Bowl opposition out again for 133, to win by an innings and 360 just after tea on that same day? Check.

In achieving all the criteria required to meet the ideal game plan, the Australians came as close as possible to playing the perfect Test match. It can be viewed one of two ways: Either South Africa turned in one of the worst performances imaginable, or Australia produced one of the greatest ever displays of dominance. While the reality is likely somewhere in between the two extremes, it appeared far closer to Australia reaching the pinnacle of Test performance.

There will probably be more lopsided results than this (so far, there has only been one in Test history), as Australia are unfortunately scheduled to meet Bangladesh at some point. But considering it was a match between two sides officially ranked – if it counts for anything – No. 1 and 2 in the world, it was one of the most comprehensive thrashings ever.

Australia made 652/7 declared in 146 overs. South Africa were then bowled out for 159 and 133, on what from all appearances was a normal, easy-paced pitch, in a total of 86.3 overs, the equivalent of less than a full day’s play, on the third afternoon. Stand-in South African captain Mark Boucher thought that this was “a bit disappointing,” one of the great under-statements ever uttered by a Test captain on a day that brought to mind the phrase “greatest ever” more than once. What Boucher probably would have liked to say was that it was a bloody disgrace, because from South Africa’s point of view that’s how it must be regarded, irrespective of the Australians’ brilliance. Somehow, down 1-0 in this series and 4-0 overall, the South Africans must find the motivation to contest two more matches.

From Australia’s point of view, they cannot perform at a higher level against more qualified opposition. From Hayden’s century that, in Gilchrist’ s words, “laid the foundation”, to Gilchrist’s record-breaking double ton and the performances of all the bowlers, they came as close as they likely ever will to the ultimate team performance.

Steve Waugh called it “an outstanding performance from all the guys,” describing Gilchrist as a “once-in-a-generation cricketer.” Yet somehow that did not satisfactorily summarise the result. For the rest of their careers, the Australian players can only hope to emulate “the way we played at the Wanderers in 2002.”

One of the primary requirements for South Africa in this series was for the batsmen to show more character and resolve, to not succumb to the psychological pressure Australia’s bowlers exerted so relentlessly in Australia. Admittedly, that became a futilely onerous assignment once Australia reached 652/7, but for pride’s sake it had to be done.

It was made even more difficult by the improvement in Australia’s attack. Shane Warne appeared to have lost weight and Brett Lee had a renewed focus on control over sheer intimidatory pace, bowling his best spell since elbow surgery in the last session of day two. The ball with which he dismissed Kallis in the first innings was brutal.

Needing 16 wickets from a maximum of three days, Australia’s performance was a superb exhibition of creating and seizing chances. Second over of the day, Hayden snared an opportunistic catch low in the gully off Gillespie as Ashwell Prince – whose impressively composed debut was the one redeeming feature for South Africa – failed to keep the ball down driving square of the wicket.

In McGrath’s second over, Dippenaar had to play at him, a rising ball over off stump taking a high edge for a catch behind high to Gilchrist’s right (as if he had to do anything else to win man of the match honours). Subjected to instant pressure, the batsmen were forced to defend, and consequently South Africa lost 3/3 in six overs.

Gillespie was fuller than McGrath but equally good, keeping the batsmen on the defensive. So when Boje received a wider ball he could have left alone, he was instead drawn into playing at it, the resultant edge plucked of the air by Mark Waugh at second slip. Through this intelligent bowling, chances were made and taken, South Africa scoring 9 runs in the first eight overs.

With a highly attacking field – usually there were only two men on the leg side, with four slips and two gullies – a high run rate was guaranteed if South Africa batted for any length of time. But against Australia’s team bowling effort, they were decimated in only 48 overs.

Lee initially bowled a mixed length, and was punished by Boucher. Yet Lee is now putting a little more thought into his bowling and Boucher’s hitting did not bother him, as he focussed on doing one thing right rather than respond heatedly. Lee maintained a full length to Ntini and was duly rewarded when the No. 9 played across the line for a leading edge to gully.

The discipline also paid off against Boucher, who edged behind driving at another one full and fast, and when Nel was lbw to Warne South Africa had been routed just 81 minutes into the day, 493 behind. The team bowling effort was reflected by the figures, as all were impressive at various stages in finishing with at least two scalps each.

Making the batting implosion worse for the home side was that it left the Aussies fresh for a second innings kill, having another half an hour at the openers before a chance to rest at lunch. Everything was in their favour and they capitalised on it.

Kirsten went to a loose shot five minutes after the break, driving Gillespie in the air square of the wicket the way some left-handers seem to do. In a battle of patience and with runs to be had in the open spaces, Kirsten lost.

Gibbs’ temperament had improved considerably on the first innings, performing the role of a technically solid rather than flashy opener that South Africa would like to see more often. With Prince, he put on 69 in 75 minutes to take South Africa to 89/1 before the innings folded precipitously.

Warne sparked the collapse rather innocuously, bowling Prince for 28 when he inside-edged a ball out of the footmarks onto pad then stumps after failing to get to the pitch of it. Less than half an hour before tea, Gibbs then succumbed to impetuosity, advancing down the pitch to Warne to play a big shot only to be deceived in flight and stumped as the ball spun away. In swinging the momentum back to Australia again, Warne also equalled Kapil Dev on 434 Test wickets.

Kallis fell for 8 to the perfect McGrath delivery as it became clear the rout had resumed. Drawn forward in defence, Kallis was beaten just enough off the seam to nick behind.

Dippenaar was dropped off McGrath then out to Warne’s next ball, padding up to the slider in line with off in a marginal decision. Completing the landslide session, Boucher was out sweeping Warne last ball before tea, bowled off glove and pad.

Having taken 5/20 in 40 minutes, the post-tea session resembled an Australian practice session. Boje hung out his bat to McGrath as the ball left him, edging into the panoply of eight off-side catchers. Ntini was bowled first ball by a leg-stump yorker, Nel averted the hat-trick by leaving, then McGrath grabbed his third in four balls as Nel fended to short leg. McGrath completed his five-wicket haul when the injured Donald was last man out fending another ball into the cordon, capping a collapse of 9/44.

For Australia, it was as good as it gets.

Test Victories by an innings
Runs	Winner	Loser	Test	Series	Venue
579	Eng	Aus	5th	1938	The Oval
360	Aus	SA	1st	2001-02	Joh'burg
336	WI	Ind	3rd	1958-59	Calcutta
332	Aus	Eng	1st	1946-47	Brisbane
322	WI	NZ	2nd	1994-95	Wellington
285	Eng	Ind	2nd	1974	Lord's

Statistics: Mohandas Menon

Match report: Day 1 | Day 2
Images: Day 1 | Day 2