ELECTION 99
COLUMNISTS
DIARY
SPECIALS
INTERVIEWS
CAPITAL BUZZ
REDIFF POLL
DEAR REDIFF
THE STATES
YEH HAI INDIA
ARCHIVES

Search Rediff

Election khichadi, IV

This has been *such* a garbage-news-crammed week that I nearly took a drop. It's all the more frustrating since I should've been in Amsterdam, blotto on that which is not inhaled. But the sainted editor said, Stay! and I rolled over... So whaddya wanna begin with? More exit poll projections from a Marathi daily whose owner is a Congress-supported Rajya Sabha member? Or those from an English daily whose editor is rational (read, BJP-friendly)? Frankly, we can give both a miss. After the results are in, I'm going to enjoy deciding who fudged how much.

NDTV -- which contracted ORG-MARG/Insight to conduct exit polls for Star News -- and its lollapalooza MD, Prannoy Roy, have been asked to submit forex vouchers for the years 1990 to 1996 vis-a-vis a FERA violation case. The Enforcement Directorate woke up to it last week.

Questions: Were the Insight figures inflated to butter up the government...? Is the ED order a sting from our Congress-cultivated babudom...?

*****

No news of the week: The Asian Age did a story on the need to stop 'priceless pieces of sculpture depicting Indian deities from leaving Indian shores for the luxurious drawing rooms of private art collectors and even reputable art museums.' Details of pilfered antiques were provided by C Margabandhu, former director of the Archaeological Survey of India, who blamed the heists on negligence and indifference to our heritage, and the greed and dishonesty of collectors abroad. 'Sculptures, miniature paintings, illuminated manuscripts, jewellery are getting shipped out by the container' because Customs checks only 10% of consignments. (VIP baggage, too, is rarely checked; I should know.)

The superintendent of the CBI's Antiquities Wing during the year 1996, M Ram, said that nearly 3,000 pieces of cultural property were spirited out of India and that this is merely the figure on record; actual loss may be thrice as much.

I detest spoon-feeding. Look back. Use your head.

*****

The Municipal Corporation of Delhi, acting under orders from the Delhi high court, undertook a demolition drive. Immediately, Congress MLAs staged a protest outside Raj Niwas, demanding suspension of the demolition. This was despite the unanimous resolution passed in the House last year that members will not protest against removal of encroachments.

The Congress charge is that the MCD was targeting the party's strongholds, and that 'a large-scale conspiracy has been hatched by the BJP to erode Congress vote-banks by carrying out demolitions in *unauthorised* colonies, resettlement colonies and jhuggi areas where people from the economically weaker sections who support the Congress party live.' Meaning, minorities.

Mind-boggling, inn'it? And they say the northeast has been screwed up by the Parivar...

*****

A Hindustan Times item on the Assam poll which illustrates the results of the Congress's traditional activism: 'The attempt by the Congress to field Abida Begum, widow of Dr Fakhruddin Ali Ahmed, from Mangaldoi in a by-poll, had snowballed into an anti-foreigners agitation. Today Muslims feel extremely important and most sought after. Incessant infiltration has led to a huge 108% rise in Muslim population between 1971 and 1991. In Mangaldoi, the Muslims comprise 33% of the electorate, the second largest community after the Koch-Rajbongshis.'

Background: The All Assam Students Union was formed in 1979 as a reaction to the hordes of infiltrators turning up on the electoral rolls of Mangaldoi assembly constituency. Later, the students demanded the scrapping of the Illegal Migrants (Deportation by Tribunal) Act, 1983, which is applicable only to Assam and which places the onus of identifying infiltrators on natives living within a 3 km radius -- after paying certain fees. AASU then split into two: One faction formed the Asom Gana Parishad; the other became ULFA.

Prafulla Kumar Mahanta, as AASU leader, had launched the movement on the foreigners issue. But after the AGP formed a government on this very plank, he, too, propped up the illegal-migrants vote-bank. Nevertheless, last year, he was forced to plead to the apex court to resolve the IMDT case. Immediately, the Assam PCC chief, Tarun Gogoi, declared that his party, the Congress, would oppose any move to scrap the Act as 'this may result in harassment of bonafide Indian citizens in the name of detecting foreigners.'

Veer Savarkar had gauged the nas-nas of Congress culture: He had warned about the problem of Muslim infiltration into Assam from East Bengal -- in 1941!

*****

In Surat, a Ganpati procession turned bloody when 7 people were killed in police firing. The trouble erupted when cops refused to allow the procession to use the traditional Madina Masjid route, which is a chronic trouble area. All those killed or injured were Hindus. CM Keshubhai Patel ordered a judicial probe into the police firing.

Question: WHY is a Muslim area always a trouble spot for Hindu events? The probe should not be into police firing. It should be into an appeasing chief-ministership. I hope the BJP suffers a massive stroke in Gujarat.

*****

The Fart of the Week Award goes to the Ambulance Chaser: Sibal, repeatedly proclaiming his party's disbelief in the findings of exit polls, put forth the Congress claim to form a government -- based on these very findings. The Congress feels it will emerge as the largest single party. Since the TDP, Trinamul and JD-U are not signatories to the NDA manifesto, 'there is no NDA as such, and so the BJP must win enough seats on its own to stake a claim.'

A far more distinguished lawyer showed him his place: That the President is bound to call the largest single party to form the government is 'constitutional nonsense of which even a law student should feel acutely embarrassed,' sneered Ram Jethmalani. The Supreme Court has ruled that 'the President will necessarily act without the advice of the council of ministers in the matter of choice of the prime minister, restricted though this choice is by the paramount consideration that he should command a majority in the House.'

Meaning, the Prez appoints a PM who, in his opinion, is reasonably assured of a majority. And that opens another can of worms...

*****

The Turd of the Decade Award goes uncontested to Jyoti Basu for declaring that Lal Kishenchand Advani was sentenced to 3 months imprisonment for instigating Nathuram Godse in Gandhiji's assassination. Dhotibabu alleged that Advaniji's 'indirect involvement' in the execution had been established by 'the legal machinery' and his 'criminal antecedents' were now public.

I've no wisecracks. I've always adored Advaniji.

*****

Manmohan Singh averred that the CPI-M 'is pragmatic enough to realise that only Congress policies can take the country forward on the path of economic regeneration.' Meaning, the Commies, in face of the challenge posed by the fundies, will have to accept the Congress' fiscal policies and support its bid for governance. Meaning, all that cock and bull about the Red legacy and principles and economic reforms is just that -- bullshit to seize power.

I really, truly, cross my heart, feel bad for the writing pinkos. I wonder how they're going to justify the CPI-M's pusillanimity in the face of Congress blackmail...

*****

And, what in heaven's name are Manmohan Singh & Thugs going to do about A K Antony?? The Kerala chief has sworn that, no matter the price, he will never allow the Congress to dilly-dally with pinkos. In fact, at Kochi, he urged the Shroud that she should not, under any circumstances, take or extend support to the CPI-M because 'the intention of that party is to destroy the Congress. Madame, you may take help from anyone but never get it from the Marxist party... We only hear of the religious fascists in the North, but we see in Kerala the real fascists much more perilous than the Northerners.' One of the less stupid Mallus, this Antony: 'If the CPI-M came to power it would be the end of democracy in India.'

*****

On September 23, the three stooges (now, two), were informed of the over-100% voter turn-out at four booths in Nawada, Bihar. In three booths, the turn-out was more than the actual number of voters; in the fourth, more ballots were cast than actual allotted. The district magistrate-cum-returning officer stated that even though more than 100% polling was reported from the four booths, the presiding officers hadn't indicated any irregularity in their reports.

Three days later, the chief election officer of Bihar, A K Basu, urged the EC to take stern action against the DM-cum-RO of Siwan, Rashid Ahmad Khan, and the director of the District Rural Development Authority, K N Jha, for gross dereliction of duty: 'There was chaos at the site of the distribution of election material in Siwan due to the failure of mike and electricity and normalcy was restored rather late.' The CPI-ML, too, had demanded Khan's removal for 'his alleged partisan attitude towards ruling party in Bihar... The DM of Siwan is acting like an RJD election agent.'

I'm not even dipping into the facts behind the ballot-box and ballot-papers scams -- that commands a full article. But don't you think that just these incidents raise serious doubts about the probity in the election process in Bihar? Don't they justify George's allegations?

*****

What I enjoy most about our elections are the Yadavs. Last year, Laloo had his Popat Sena -- parrots toting (paper) lanterns, the RJD symbol. This year, the Samajwadi campaign began with posters comprising a digitally altered photograph of Narasimha Rao, Advaniji and Salman Khurshid laughing together while a television near them showed the Babri being demolished. Another poster had Sonia, in sandals, doing a parikrama of Mrs G's funeral pyre. So Khurshid called Mulayam the 'vulture of Indian politics'; the Congress also generated doctored images; and the Poster War took off.

I concede, it's to be condemned because the visuals could have an adverse effect on UP's great unwashed masses. However, the fact remains, they were hilarious -- I can't help it, I'm ever tickled by devious minds. No matter how hard they may have tried, the Congress posters just couldn't cut it: no trace of black humour.

Now there's a Pamphlet War on. The Congress' ask asinine questions like why didn't Atalji declare the cow as a national animal, and claim that under BJP rule, thousands of temples were demolished in Delhi. The BJP pamphlets are even more idiotic: they quote the Vedas to explain why the Shroud can't be treated as a Hindu -- a point with no relevance at all! I have to admit, except Balasaheb, fundies are devoid of wit. Very, very embarrassing.

*****

I hold no brief for Maneka Gandhi: Like all savages, I abhor those who campaign against my rabidly non-vegetarian lifestyle. As for advancing any member of the Nehru dynasty, my meagre opus speaks for itself.

But was I the only person to be shocked by: 'No, she was not doing her billi-kutta number on her own Doordarshan series, Maneka's Ark... you can reach for your remote controls to see the former towel-model-turned-television star in action once again... Will Maneka present the lushly pancaked and luridly lipsticked persona (complete with wardrobe by Rohit Bal and Gitanjali Kashyap) that fills the screen on Maneka's Ark?'..?

The truth is that in this country, women are fair game. Should they try and achieve anything of consequence you can always put them down by using sexist comments. You can take male columnists out of their jocks but you can't take the jocks out of their mindset.

Maneka was part of the BJP-led coalition. Therefore, she can't possibly claim that which the Shroud can: No way to treat a lady! Yeah right...

Varsha Bhosle